The First Sin: Answering The Phone

One invention that has been an ultimate disgrace to the Kurosawan race is the telephone.

The Kurosawan is like a hog amidst a field of grass. He comes and goes as he pleases, grazing the greeneries which please him oh so much. The telephone is like a wild crow; dark and angry, always making useless noises. But this is no ordinary crow, it is violent one that lacks all forms of humanity; it pecks on your head and yells in your ear without any regard for the consiquences of its actions.

The reason the Kurosawan hog is targeted is unknown, after all, the hog tries to live as transparent as possible. Despite the hog's attempt at living an unnoticed life, the deprivation of humanity in the form of phone calls constantly attack him.

Here are some typical things the phone may be used for:

• Family members asking for things/ checking up on things/ thanking/ congratulating
• Acquaintances talking about Hog knows what
• Researchers asking if they can ask a few questions
  
• Marketers spreading their vile in the form of words
• People asking if they can talk to someone who is not you

Now truly a sensible mind realizes how useless all this is. This is why rule 18 of the Kurosawan Code of Home Ethics states: "... never answer the phone unless you feel there is an elevated state of urgency, or an extreme circumstance". Net time you go to answer a phone, ask yourself "Is it truly necessary? Will it affect humanity as I know it?" If the answer is no, odds are you are better off ignoring the call.

Violent Dreams

I have been on a streak of violent dreams:

• Sitting in some kind of hospital/clinic/manufacturing factory next to a conveyor belt. The belt has a bunch of heads of babies, (possibly aborted fetuses, the heads were abnormally small). Bright red heads traveling toward their destiny via a conveyor belt.

• The year is 2473, and I am in a midst of a barbaric culture. Many would argue that barbaric nature and technology do not mix, however this dream is living proof that it can and does. A colleague and I are approached by an enemy. We are in a dark warehouse, possible a dark swamp. The guy has armor on helmet on; the air may be poisonous, so one must protect his body. We immobilize him, and once he is weak, we begin drilling into his helmet with our drill weapons. The process is cumbersome, but eventually we drill through the metal and into the skill. Within seconds the man begins bleeding heavily, and dies. We continue drilling until the skull/head/face is fully mutilated. We then show it off by displaying the remains of his head via a plastic bag.

• I am in Lake Tahoe, California. As I am walking along the lake, giant boulders begin crumbling; I am in the center of a giant avalanche. The humans begin running toward the lake. Some boulders fall on me, however I am quite strong, and so the 6-12 ton weight does not phase me. Luckily, the lake is abnormally shallow, so the people have no problem heading deep into the center. Eventually the madness subsides, and I seek refuge in a house full of Orientals. I get an oriental massage, followed with some oral sex (this is customary). I then proceed to grab a woman by the head, and slam it repeatedly against the wall with one hand while talking about the Asian culture with other people. Now, normally, these types of blows to the head would not cause serious injury, however I did not stop until the woman was dead. It probably took about 3 or 4 hours. Later a man came up and told me that the last time someone had slammed a person against the wall (and killed him/her) he lived no longer than 50 days.

The final dream has more detail, because I had it last night, while the first dream was experienced over 3 weeks ago.

If you too want cool dreams, I suggest taking 3 supplements;

1. Melatonin
   
2. B6
3. Valarian Root
   
4. LSD (just joking)

Here are some links for further information about dreaming:
Dream Discussion
Experience Discussion

Disslike for Noise: Eternal Peace From Within

First of all, noise can be anything you want it to be. It can be a static sound coming from a T.V or it can be music that is playing on the radio. The essence of it is; it does not want to be heard by your ears.

To a hog, noise usually consist of human speech. Recently, as the humble hog was grazing in the kitchen, he had a sudden urge to cover his ears. This has never happened to me in this certain circumstance. The situation was as follows; three humans were sitting at a table silently, while the fourth began talking about an ordinary thing. The hog does not recall what the thing was, but it may have been:

• How nice the weather has been
• Recent news, such as a bridge collapsing
  
• How the day at work went
• If anyone wanted more chicken

All of the sudden, the hog went like this:


Ears in pain, the hog covered the delicate orifices. The only explentation is the presence of an unknown element; u-ness (or uness). Shortly after, the hog approached its father, and asked if he had any ear plugs (for the man is a wild boar hunter, and must protect his ears). He said "no", however he pointed out taht he could get some at his hospital.

Hopefully in a few days I will have some of these:

And will be able to roam nature in peace.