The First Sin: Answering The Phone

One invention that has been an ultimate disgrace to the Kurosawan race is the telephone.

The Kurosawan is like a hog amidst a field of grass. He comes and goes as he pleases, grazing the greeneries which please him oh so much. The telephone is like a wild crow; dark and angry, always making useless noises. But this is no ordinary crow, it is violent one that lacks all forms of humanity; it pecks on your head and yells in your ear without any regard for the consiquences of its actions.

The reason the Kurosawan hog is targeted is unknown, after all, the hog tries to live as transparent as possible. Despite the hog's attempt at living an unnoticed life, the deprivation of humanity in the form of phone calls constantly attack him.

Here are some typical things the phone may be used for:

• Family members asking for things/ checking up on things/ thanking/ congratulating
• Acquaintances talking about Hog knows what
• Researchers asking if they can ask a few questions
  
• Marketers spreading their vile in the form of words
• People asking if they can talk to someone who is not you

Now truly a sensible mind realizes how useless all this is. This is why rule 18 of the Kurosawan Code of Home Ethics states: "... never answer the phone unless you feel there is an elevated state of urgency, or an extreme circumstance". Net time you go to answer a phone, ask yourself "Is it truly necessary? Will it affect humanity as I know it?" If the answer is no, odds are you are better off ignoring the call.

Violent Dreams

I have been on a streak of violent dreams:

• Sitting in some kind of hospital/clinic/manufacturing factory next to a conveyor belt. The belt has a bunch of heads of babies, (possibly aborted fetuses, the heads were abnormally small). Bright red heads traveling toward their destiny via a conveyor belt.

• The year is 2473, and I am in a midst of a barbaric culture. Many would argue that barbaric nature and technology do not mix, however this dream is living proof that it can and does. A colleague and I are approached by an enemy. We are in a dark warehouse, possible a dark swamp. The guy has armor on helmet on; the air may be poisonous, so one must protect his body. We immobilize him, and once he is weak, we begin drilling into his helmet with our drill weapons. The process is cumbersome, but eventually we drill through the metal and into the skill. Within seconds the man begins bleeding heavily, and dies. We continue drilling until the skull/head/face is fully mutilated. We then show it off by displaying the remains of his head via a plastic bag.

• I am in Lake Tahoe, California. As I am walking along the lake, giant boulders begin crumbling; I am in the center of a giant avalanche. The humans begin running toward the lake. Some boulders fall on me, however I am quite strong, and so the 6-12 ton weight does not phase me. Luckily, the lake is abnormally shallow, so the people have no problem heading deep into the center. Eventually the madness subsides, and I seek refuge in a house full of Orientals. I get an oriental massage, followed with some oral sex (this is customary). I then proceed to grab a woman by the head, and slam it repeatedly against the wall with one hand while talking about the Asian culture with other people. Now, normally, these types of blows to the head would not cause serious injury, however I did not stop until the woman was dead. It probably took about 3 or 4 hours. Later a man came up and told me that the last time someone had slammed a person against the wall (and killed him/her) he lived no longer than 50 days.

The final dream has more detail, because I had it last night, while the first dream was experienced over 3 weeks ago.

If you too want cool dreams, I suggest taking 3 supplements;

1. Melatonin
   
2. B6
3. Valarian Root
   
4. LSD (just joking)

Here are some links for further information about dreaming:
Dream Discussion
Experience Discussion

Disslike for Noise: Eternal Peace From Within

First of all, noise can be anything you want it to be. It can be a static sound coming from a T.V or it can be music that is playing on the radio. The essence of it is; it does not want to be heard by your ears.

To a hog, noise usually consist of human speech. Recently, as the humble hog was grazing in the kitchen, he had a sudden urge to cover his ears. This has never happened to me in this certain circumstance. The situation was as follows; three humans were sitting at a table silently, while the fourth began talking about an ordinary thing. The hog does not recall what the thing was, but it may have been:

• How nice the weather has been
• Recent news, such as a bridge collapsing
  
• How the day at work went
• If anyone wanted more chicken

All of the sudden, the hog went like this:


Ears in pain, the hog covered the delicate orifices. The only explentation is the presence of an unknown element; u-ness (or uness). Shortly after, the hog approached its father, and asked if he had any ear plugs (for the man is a wild boar hunter, and must protect his ears). He said "no", however he pointed out taht he could get some at his hospital.

Hopefully in a few days I will have some of these:

And will be able to roam nature in peace.

Do What is Right v. Do What You Want

A thought occurred to me. I was sitting at a health club by the pool working on my beautiful tan, roughly 3 drinks deep, observing the finest women one could observe, when two thoughts occurred to me:

1. Goddamn this is awesome
   
2. Is this right?

This is a dilemma humanity faces; doing what is "right" and doing what is impulsive. First of all, there is no such tangible thing as "right", there is however a tangible thing that is "impulsive". "Right" can only be determined by an individual. For one, "right" can be blowing yourself up for the sake of Allah, for the other it can be giving to others at every possible opportunity.

Impulse however is much more clear; "Hmm, she is only 16. Ahh, who gives a fuck...."

Ideally one should balance the two (in Kurosawanism Philosophy), mainstream society would say "only do what is right", while wilder people, may say "do want you want". Living impulsively may result in an elevated state of happiness, however it can be hazardous in various ways (health, finance, legal) . Living "the right way" can be rewarding ethically, ( most want it to lead to success), however it results in deficiencies; (I cannot explain because I do not live this way).

I must say, my thoughts may be a little skewed, for I have been reading many of the best selling books by Robert Kiyosaki (a self made millionaire), however I have come to a conclusion; for the individual, the only thing that matters, is what he expects from himself. This may be from the "right" column, or it may be from the "desire" column. Essentially, it does not matter; if fulfillment is achieved, then the human has achieved a state that is rare in our modern society.

Your humble blogger does not follow Kurosawnaism Philosophy when it comes to this subject (and as you know, Kurosawnaism, as well as hogness allow one to believe what ever he or she wants, thus there is no contradiction). So far, doing what the mind and body dictate have been valued more than what the internal values as "right". Now doing what one wants is not "wrong", in fact many would argue it is "right". The question ultimately is: What doe th human intemperate it as?

The Legend that is: Akira Kurosawa

Here is the man who started it all. He gave birth to my love for Asian culture. This blog is a tribute to him.

Actually, I just like saying Kurosawa, so the blog is named after him because it sounds cool, however I guess it can also serve as a tribute. Anyway, I have seen many of his movies; 18 to be exact. Many of the older movies are extremely rare, and thus very difficult to find. I will make it a mission in life to view all 30 of his films. I will soon watch my 19th movie which will be Red Beard starring the legendary Toshiro Mifune. Kurosawa is one of the greatest film makers of all time, and I believe I have he is the only director who's films I have seen to such an extent. A close second (and possibly first) would be Woody Allen.

The reason I love his movies so much is because he observes emotion so well. He uses Toshiro Mifune throughout his movies to capture the element of humanity spinning it into comedy, tragedy, and violent adventures.

Two movies I will discuss are The Lower Depths (1957), and Dodesukaden (1970).

The Lower Depths is a play, and a comedy. It deals with a bunch of poor degenerates living in a room, yelling at each other. This movie has little plot, and truly illustrates how well Kurosawa captivates the humanity of his characters. The dancing seen is one of the most memorable and funniest scenes I have ever seen in my life.

Dodesukaden is a "modern" movie, meaning it portrays the present. It too deals with poverty, much like The Lower Depths. In fact the two movies complement each other quite nicely and should be viewed in order. This movie is very visual and expresses a more artistic aspect of Kurosawa. Unfortunately it was a flop, and was possibly one of the reason why Kurosawa tried to kill himself. Despite it's lack of popularity, it is one of my favorites.

Hollywood Treatment

A key to clearheadedness and calm is a good body. Your body must go through many passages and it must escape. Once it emerges, it is cleansed and rebirthed. We are talking at the micro level here, not the macro level.

This passage is mental too, however it is the aftermath that results in mental bliss. Throughout the passage the state of the mind is more focused, and filled with suffering.

The daily routine to achieving a clear mind and a healed body consist of this:

• Undressing and urinating. The body is filled with waste, we must first get rid of the main waste.
• Hydration is then performed. This will increase the body's stamina when undergoing the harsh conditions.
• Sauna: One must sit in the sauna for 20 minutes. The first 10 minutes consist of talking with other people, or reeding. The second 10 minutes consist of sitting silently, and focusing all energy on sweating out the waste that is in our body.
  
• Hot Tub (phase 1): This is an introduction to the tub. We dabble with the tub, and gain a sense of respect/understanding. This may take one or two minutes at most.
  
• Pool: We must then shock out body, by running outside and jumping into the pool. While in the pool a serious of exercises is performed to reheal damaged tissue in the upper body.
  
• Hot Tub (phase 2): The user now jumps into the hot tub (as he does into the pool) and engages in several massages using different jets. The user opens his eyes wide as to absorb the fumes ocularly (to promote an artificial heavy-eye feeling).
  
• The human must now shower off the chlorine and replenish his fluids. The rinse must be warm.
  
• The hog now enters the steam room and sits quietly. If the room is empty he may hose himself in a manner that emulates a shower. Also a cold towel may be placed over the hog's face to prevent heat exhaustion.
  
• The hog leaves, and is ready to take a shower. The water is gradually reduced (in terms of temperature) as the entity washes its self. Once finishing the shower, the human may choose to dress.
  

This essentially is your narrator's daily routine.
Total estimated time: 95 minutes

Hogness - Kurosawan Style

Hogness has no sides, no shapes, and no ways. It is essentially what you want it to be. This blog however preaches Kurosawan Hogness, and so there are specific forms to the way of the Kurosawan hog.

These ways however, cannot be put into words. Some things just are to great to be put into words, and this is one of them. I would like to reveal an aspect of hogness here, to shed light on what it consist of.

I recall discussing hogness in a previous post. In fact, defining it in ways I could. As I write this current blog post, I realize, my definitions may or may not be the same. This is a vital part of Kurosawan Hogness; things are not being, they are becoming. Kurosawan Hogness (KH) could have been that then, but it is this now.

I also feel the hog is constantly smelling things. It is focused on the smell in the air, and so it does not pay attention to much else. On several occasions, I find myself lost, because I have not been focused on the situation; instead I have been focused on a greater situation.

An example of this phenomenon is observed through conversations with people, as well as observations of situations. Throughout conversations, I find myself not consuming what I am being told. If you greet me for the first time, and tell me your name, or who you are, or why you are talking to me, I will most likely not understand. Similarly, when listening to a song with only 20 words in it for 4 days strait, I can only recite a few words; simply the mind does not feel the need to know the words - only the need to experience exists. The mind is consumed with other thoughts, and so it cannot focus on all the signals being presented to it. It is a hog's mission to be able to consume everything. This is very rare, and is praised by all KHs.

The next time you talk to a hog, don't be surprised If he or she does not respond for it is simly the nature of a hog to not listen to non-extraordinary things.

Top 5 Man-Crushes

Here are five men, that I love. These five men have skill, charisma, and looks. Without them in my life I would not be as happy. There were a few other guys, mainly movie stars and athletes, however I felt I should keep this list short, and thus I only reveal the top 5. Each of them possesses that hint of being that we cannot classify; the aspect of hogness.


Orlando Bloom

Long hair, shaved head, facial hair, no facial hair, French style whiskers, I don't care. A hog is a hog, and this one comes from the Shire. This guy is a man of style. Don't mistake his chest-exposing shirts in POTC as gay, simply the producers understand that it is sexy and the more sexy there is, the better the adventures. I don't recall any other movies he was in, and to tell you the truth I don't care; in my book, the guy is an immortal when it comes to movies.


Patrick Antonius

Can you say sexy cheek bone? This guy is a stud. He is pure European glamor. He plays cards for an hour, makes a hundred thousand dollars, and then bangs all the finest pieces of female humanity known to man. Balla. He is so cute when he is shy too.



Justin Timberlake

This guy is awesome at anything he does. And his charisma is always there, making him truly the man. His SNL debut was legendary, his latest album is insanely awesome, and his role in Alpha Dog was delicious. He is a diva I tell you, a male diva.

Pete Wentz and Brendon Uri


These guys totally rule. Pete is great for his age; he is pushing 30 and looks like he is 18. Brendon is awesome too, mainly because he looks so cool when he sings the cover of Britney Spears's "Hit Me Babe One More Time". The reason young teens are in love with their bands is quite apparent to me - They look as sexy as they sound.



Next time, to be fair, I will discuss the top 5 female-crushes.

Things That Make you Happy

During the break I have been doing the same things I do during non-break time. Mostly relaxing. Well I thought to myself, one should make a list of things that make him happy. If he keeps doing these things, he will have a great life.

Some things I will do during the summer:
Go to Primetime
Play Golf
Draw Paintings
Write New Songs
Develop Guitar Skill
Swim/Look at Hot Ladies
Play Poker
Listen to Nostalgic Songs

There were about 20 other things that I listed. I will try to do all of them. I suggest you also create a list of things that make you happy and do them. Similarly you may want to create a list of things taht stress you out, and try to not do those things.

A second portion of my post will discuss some hot hip hop songs that are popular. They all consist of women btw:

Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
Click Here to Watch

Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
Click Here to Watch

Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous
Click Here to Watch

All three songs are great. I would say Timberlake's song is the best. I don't even know if he sings in it, but this guys is the man. He knows what is sexy and what is not, unlike most hogs - making him truly unique. I didn't know any Nelly Furtado songs till now - she is having a great year with her album. If you want to cheer up from these serious songs, I would recommend S.O.S by Rihana, seen here.

Auditory Memory: The Nature of the Hog

I have found it fascinating that I, your humble blogger, can remember specific times in my life associated with music. IE I can remember the exact songs during moments of my life. Many of these songs were looped over and over, while others just "made sense" at the time.

Brass Monkey - Beastie Boys: The first personal radio experience

I was in my room, with a radio at the age of 7 or 8 when I hear "Brass monkey, You funky junkie..."

End of the World - R.E.M: collecting basketball cards in New Jersey.

I was in a van, at about age 12 or 13, driving, looking over some sweet new basketball cards my mom had bought me when all of the sudden the sweet sound of R.E.M comes on the radio.

Rider on the Storm - Doors: Riding in a storm through upstate New York.

This was an absolutely surreal moment in my life. Age 15 or 16, my family was driving through NY during a light, summer storm, listening to a doors CD that I had burned. The two forces intertwined and all was bliss. I was Jim Morrison for those 5 minutes. I will never forget this in my life.

Metro Radio Mix - Chris Hale: Summertime nights in my brothers room.

During a massive heat storm in the summer of '06 I was bumping the Japanese underground Trance nightly, while drinking Gatorade and learning how to code HTML. I was at peace. Will do again.

Countless other instances; For instance if the song Cobra Style by Teddybears Stockholm comes on, I will instantly think about my first time playing on Full Tilt Poker. Or, if David Bowie's Suffragette City comes on I will instantly think about looking up real estate in Southern California.

This is a phenomenon, and I encourage you all to add a little more music into your lives, to help you remember the little things.